Can You Still Be Happy if You Have a Mental Illness?

I am happy. I have a good life. Now, I've had to work real hard at it, doing all the things I have to do to remain stable with my disorder, but I am happy.

I think you have to have a balance. You can't go too far one way or the other, like the extremes of depression and mania in bipolar disorder. But it doesn't matter what your diagnosis is - I think it's up to you whether you are happy or not. Being happy for me, for instance, does not mean that I don't have any problems, because I do. But being stable with my disorder helps me to solve those problems in a rational, sane way.

I am stable. I take pride in that, because it was hard-fought and won. And it took some time, and alot of positive energy and optimistic thinking. And I didn't do it by myself, either (I think I was incapable of that) - I had a lot of help. But first I had to believe that I COULD be stable with my disorder which, at one point, seemed like it could NEVER happen to someone like me, I was that bad.

I am blessed, because today I enjoy the fruits of stability - a wonderful and supportive husband, a great marriage, 3 great sons, a home, a car, a job that I love, etc. But I use the word "blessed" instead of "lucky" because I don't think luck had anything to do with it.

At one point, I questioned my own faith, as I thought God deserted me when I prayed about being healed from bipolar disorder (and my other disorders) and wasn't.

But at some point I realized that it is because God idd not choose to heal me that I've done the most good. This blog (and my two others) for example. And the work I do for www.bipolarcentral.com and NAMI's IOOV program.

Today I am stable, balanced, and very, very grateful to God for keeping me this way. Because of this, I can help SO many other people! I LOVE doing IOOV presentations, for instance, because you can watch the faces of the people and actually see them change from Dark Days to Successes, Hopes, and Dreams! And when I see in the feedback forms that people now believe that recovery is possible, I am even more grateful to be a IOOV presenter. I believe we really help people.

So, whenever you feel discouraged, or don't think your story (or you) is important, remember the good you are actually doing. Take yourself out of the imaginary picture for a minute and think about where IOOV would be without you -- all the people who wouldn't be helped just because you shared your story. YOU ARE IMPORTANT! Never forget that.

Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Being a Diamond in the Rough

My wonderful husband had a saying about me before we got married - that I was a diamond in the rough. That's how he was able to love me even during my most destructible stages with bipolar disorder.

I think being a diamond in the rough is a good analogy for people with mental illness, because we want others to look past our outward selves, into who we really are. That's what we do with the IOOV program - we put a face on mental illness. We give hope to people who prior to that meeting didn't have hope. We tell them that they are not alone, like we thought we once were, before we became stable (recovered).

When we do an IOOV presentation, the goal is bigger than ourselves. We want people who didn't believe that recovery was possible for them to look at us and say YES! Recovery IS possible.

I love every IOOV presentation I do, because there is the very real chance to change a life! Have you ever thought of that? All we do is tell our stories. But your story has the potential to change someone else's life, who might look at you and be encouraged that if you could go through the same things they are going through and come out on the other side, then they can, too.

Our stories are powerful. They give hope. They tell people that they CAN recover! By being willing to open up ourselves from the inside out, we prove that people can overcome overwhelming odds and situations and come out free and stable.

Never underestimate your IOOV presentation - it could very well change a life!

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Recovery is like a Diamond

I just got back from doing an IOOV presentation for consumers in a day treatment center. I love doing these presentations, because I get as much hope as I give.

If there's one thing I'm about, it's recovery. I cherish it like I would cherish a diamond.

When I do an IOOV presentation, going from "Dark Days" all the way to "Successes, Hopes, and Dreams," I relive the story of my recovery, and that's what I relate to people. It's a story with a happy ending, although at one point it was as far from that as earth is from mars. I was a "throwaway." They wanted to lock me up forever. I could just never get better, going from bipolar episode to bipolar episode, including several (5) suicide attempts and many years of substance abuse.

But I was lucky. My life is a miracle from God, because it's a miracle I survived it!

I like telling my story, because it gives people hope for recovery. It's like giving them that diamond. And if I can help even one person, then it's worth it.

Yes, I do still get nervous before each presentation, but that's to humble me. That way I know I'm not out there for me. I'm out there for that one person who needs to hear what I have to say.

My life was not a pleasant one to experience. But it brought me to where I am today, sharing my success story.

I'm grateful that NAMI IOOV gives me the opportunity to do that.

Bless you all,
Michele

NEED PEOPLE TO INTERVIEW

Hey, y'all --

My boss is expanding his website to include schizophrenia, and he is looking for FOUR people to interview - either a consumer or a family member.

If you are a consumer with schizophrenia, you must be successful in your recovery, and be willing to talk about how you got that way.

Only your first name will be used if you want to remain anonymous.

The interview is over the phone, takes about an hour, you are led through the whole thing, and it pays a stipend of $10.

If you can/want to be interviewed, please contact me at bpsurvivor@gmail.com

Thanks for your help,
Michele

DEFINING YOURSELF BY MORE THAN YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS

About twenty years ago, in 1989, I was diagnosed with OCD, which was accompanied by severe panic attacks. According to my child psychologist, my future looked pretty bleak. A mental hospital was her first suggestion, citing my inability to ever function normally in society. My parents refused to accept this alternative and decided to take on the responsibility of handling a child on new anti-depressants (known as tricyclics) on their own. Needless to say, Dr. Jane Doe’s initial prognosis was, for the most part, inaccurate.

While it is true that I struggled through each day for several years, I was vigilant in my quest to conquer the impossible- even after later being diagnosed with a third, (bi-polar) fourth, (possible bpd) and fifth (dysthymic) disorder.

Now, at 29 years of age, I am a freelance writer, sports columnist, mental health advocate, and I’m working on completing a memoir. Instead of taking the “victim” stance, I’ve used my lifetime full of painful memories as fuel to feed the burning flames.

I’ll be the first to admit, mental illness is a tricky disease, as it often affects the rationality of the mind, but at some point we have to take some of the responsibility for our actions. Sometimes, those of us with mental illnesses find ourselves falling into the trap of the “stigma.” We do this by defining ourselves by our mental illness in a negative way, when we should be looking at how we can use it to our advantage. Enlightenment, I’ve found, is something that is almost innate in those of us with a mental illness because of the speed at which our mind if forced to travel. Enlightenment is certainly something that can be used as an advantage in a world filled with so much apathy.

Perhaps nineteenth century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said it best when he uttered the phrase, “that which does not kill us makes us stronger.” If you decide to live by these words, there isn’t anything you can’t do, albeit with help from the right people.

Choose to live-one day at a time.

The Musings of a Bipolar Mind

Hey, y'all --

It's just a regular day today. Isn't that great? Just a regular day.

I remember when I was afraid to wake up in the morning, not knowing what mood I would be in. Always worried about what was around the corner. Scared of the Bipolar Monster.

Today things are more peaceful. I've made peace with my mental illness.

Not saying I LIKE it, just that I've made peace with it. I've learned to live with it and it has learned to live with me.

So just regular days are great. It means that I am serene, stable, and sane.

That doesn't mean that there aren't troubles in my life, just that I am able to deal better with them now when they do crop up.

Like right now I'm having to go thru a foreclosure and bankruptcy, and it's really hard. But I just keep thinking, "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."

I know I can't handle this bankruptcy on my own strength, because it is a big thing. But just living with a mental illness is a big thing, and He keeps me stable with that, so I think He can handle one little bankruptcy. :)

These days I'm very spiritually-minded. It keeps me grounded. Keeps me stable. Keeps me serene and happy.

Well, that's it for my rambling thoughts today.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Advantages of Having a Mental Illness

I know, it is a strange title for a blog post, isn't it? Your first reaction may have been, "What advantages? There are no advantages of having a mental illness." But hear me out.

Granted, I'm not talking about someone who is unstable - obviously, it would be difficult to find advantages in that case. But I'm talking about those of us who are stable with our illnesses. And yes, there are advantages - at least for me.

I used to be a selfish person. I used to think the world revolved around me. Now, I care more about other people. Since my diagnosis, I have devoted my life to helping other people with bipolar disorder, right now by writing for www.bipolarcentral.com, writing my own blog as well as adding to this one, and doing IOOV presentations.

I am more compassionate now than I was. Especially toward other people who have a mental illness. My favorite IOOV presentations are to consumers, hoping that I can give them hope for recovery, and encourage them with my story that if I can do it, they can, too.

I am more spiritual, and I consider that an advantage. Today I leave things in God's hands, and not try to play Superwoman any more. There is so much more peace and serenity in my life now. I've also learned to take it One Day at a Time, so I don't get overwhelmed.

I am more in control. Being stable, I am in control over my bipolar disorder instead of it being in control of me.

Another advantage to having a mental illness is the self-awareness that comes as a result of it. We have to be medication compliant, and most of us are in therapy. But these are the things that keep our illnesses under control. I am constantly aware of my surroundings, activities, etc., so that I can avoid the triggers I have learned to avoid.

We are accountable to those people in our support systems, and I think that's an advantage, because sometimes they can see symptoms in us before we see them in ourselves.

I am much more stress-free having a mental illness, because I have to stay stable. Which means I avoid people, places, and situations that might cause me stress. And having less stress in my life is definitely an advantage.

Because of my bipolar disorder, I can't work at a regular job anymore, but that, too, is an advantage, because now I get to work from home, which is much less stressful, writing for www.bipolarcentral.com.

And being a part of IOOV is an advantage, too. I get to meet people I never would have met otherwise, and to help people with my story.

See? I told you there were advantages to having a mental illness! :) It's all in how you look at it.

Blessings,
Michele