Hey, y'all --
It's just a regular day today. Isn't that great? Just a regular day.
I remember when I was afraid to wake up in the morning, not knowing what mood I would be in. Always worried about what was around the corner. Scared of the Bipolar Monster.
Today things are more peaceful. I've made peace with my mental illness.
Not saying I LIKE it, just that I've made peace with it. I've learned to live with it and it has learned to live with me.
So just regular days are great. It means that I am serene, stable, and sane.
That doesn't mean that there aren't troubles in my life, just that I am able to deal better with them now when they do crop up.
Like right now I'm having to go thru a foreclosure and bankruptcy, and it's really hard. But I just keep thinking, "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."
I know I can't handle this bankruptcy on my own strength, because it is a big thing. But just living with a mental illness is a big thing, and He keeps me stable with that, so I think He can handle one little bankruptcy. :)
These days I'm very spiritually-minded. It keeps me grounded. Keeps me stable. Keeps me serene and happy.
Well, that's it for my rambling thoughts today.
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Advantages of Having a Mental Illness
I know, it is a strange title for a blog post, isn't it? Your first reaction may have been, "What advantages? There are no advantages of having a mental illness." But hear me out.
Granted, I'm not talking about someone who is unstable - obviously, it would be difficult to find advantages in that case. But I'm talking about those of us who are stable with our illnesses. And yes, there are advantages - at least for me.
I used to be a selfish person. I used to think the world revolved around me. Now, I care more about other people. Since my diagnosis, I have devoted my life to helping other people with bipolar disorder, right now by writing for www.bipolarcentral.com, writing my own blog as well as adding to this one, and doing IOOV presentations.
I am more compassionate now than I was. Especially toward other people who have a mental illness. My favorite IOOV presentations are to consumers, hoping that I can give them hope for recovery, and encourage them with my story that if I can do it, they can, too.
I am more spiritual, and I consider that an advantage. Today I leave things in God's hands, and not try to play Superwoman any more. There is so much more peace and serenity in my life now. I've also learned to take it One Day at a Time, so I don't get overwhelmed.
I am more in control. Being stable, I am in control over my bipolar disorder instead of it being in control of me.
Another advantage to having a mental illness is the self-awareness that comes as a result of it. We have to be medication compliant, and most of us are in therapy. But these are the things that keep our illnesses under control. I am constantly aware of my surroundings, activities, etc., so that I can avoid the triggers I have learned to avoid.
We are accountable to those people in our support systems, and I think that's an advantage, because sometimes they can see symptoms in us before we see them in ourselves.
I am much more stress-free having a mental illness, because I have to stay stable. Which means I avoid people, places, and situations that might cause me stress. And having less stress in my life is definitely an advantage.
Because of my bipolar disorder, I can't work at a regular job anymore, but that, too, is an advantage, because now I get to work from home, which is much less stressful, writing for www.bipolarcentral.com.
And being a part of IOOV is an advantage, too. I get to meet people I never would have met otherwise, and to help people with my story.
See? I told you there were advantages to having a mental illness! :) It's all in how you look at it.
Blessings,
Michele
Granted, I'm not talking about someone who is unstable - obviously, it would be difficult to find advantages in that case. But I'm talking about those of us who are stable with our illnesses. And yes, there are advantages - at least for me.
I used to be a selfish person. I used to think the world revolved around me. Now, I care more about other people. Since my diagnosis, I have devoted my life to helping other people with bipolar disorder, right now by writing for www.bipolarcentral.com, writing my own blog as well as adding to this one, and doing IOOV presentations.
I am more compassionate now than I was. Especially toward other people who have a mental illness. My favorite IOOV presentations are to consumers, hoping that I can give them hope for recovery, and encourage them with my story that if I can do it, they can, too.
I am more spiritual, and I consider that an advantage. Today I leave things in God's hands, and not try to play Superwoman any more. There is so much more peace and serenity in my life now. I've also learned to take it One Day at a Time, so I don't get overwhelmed.
I am more in control. Being stable, I am in control over my bipolar disorder instead of it being in control of me.
Another advantage to having a mental illness is the self-awareness that comes as a result of it. We have to be medication compliant, and most of us are in therapy. But these are the things that keep our illnesses under control. I am constantly aware of my surroundings, activities, etc., so that I can avoid the triggers I have learned to avoid.
We are accountable to those people in our support systems, and I think that's an advantage, because sometimes they can see symptoms in us before we see them in ourselves.
I am much more stress-free having a mental illness, because I have to stay stable. Which means I avoid people, places, and situations that might cause me stress. And having less stress in my life is definitely an advantage.
Because of my bipolar disorder, I can't work at a regular job anymore, but that, too, is an advantage, because now I get to work from home, which is much less stressful, writing for www.bipolarcentral.com.
And being a part of IOOV is an advantage, too. I get to meet people I never would have met otherwise, and to help people with my story.
See? I told you there were advantages to having a mental illness! :) It's all in how you look at it.
Blessings,
Michele
Thursday, August 13, 2009
You Can Do Anything In Spite of Your Disorder
One of the best IOOV presentations I ever gave was at a drop-in center for consumers of mental illness. I gave my usual talk, so I don't know which part of it that impressed this person so much, but one of the clients came up to me afterwards and gave me a card.
This card flashes in pictures between a cocoon if you move it a certain way, and a beautiful butterfly if you move it a different way. It says on it: "You Can Do Anything."
They never said a word, just handed me that card and smiled at me. I was so touched.
I keep it right in front of me at my computer, so I see it often. In one card is expressed my entire journey with mental illness.
I, too, started off in that cocoon, and now I am that butterfly.
It is stability with my bipolar disorder (and other disorders) that I do believe that today I can do anything.
Don't get me wrong, I don't try to play Superman or anything. I've learned what my limitations are, and I don't go beyond them. I stick to my routines. I do all the things I need to do to maintain control over my disorder so that it doesn't get control over me.
It's all been a learning process tho. I mean, you don't become "super-survivor" overnight! In fact, you never get to be "super survivor" at all -- if you felt that way, you'd probably be in the hospital from trying to do everything at once.
You just do the best that you can. Be the best YOU that you can be.
But this message reminds me that I'm not who I was at the beginning of my diagnosis. I am not that same confused and stressed out woman.
Today, through programs like the IOOV program, I know who I am, I realize I'm not perfect, but that each day is one more day I can add to my stable time.
Knowing you can do anything does not mean that you're going to go out and build bridges tomorrow. It means that you can SUCCEED at whatever is important to you, despite the fact that you have a mental illness.
Blessings,
Michele
This card flashes in pictures between a cocoon if you move it a certain way, and a beautiful butterfly if you move it a different way. It says on it: "You Can Do Anything."
They never said a word, just handed me that card and smiled at me. I was so touched.
I keep it right in front of me at my computer, so I see it often. In one card is expressed my entire journey with mental illness.
I, too, started off in that cocoon, and now I am that butterfly.
It is stability with my bipolar disorder (and other disorders) that I do believe that today I can do anything.
Don't get me wrong, I don't try to play Superman or anything. I've learned what my limitations are, and I don't go beyond them. I stick to my routines. I do all the things I need to do to maintain control over my disorder so that it doesn't get control over me.
It's all been a learning process tho. I mean, you don't become "super-survivor" overnight! In fact, you never get to be "super survivor" at all -- if you felt that way, you'd probably be in the hospital from trying to do everything at once.
You just do the best that you can. Be the best YOU that you can be.
But this message reminds me that I'm not who I was at the beginning of my diagnosis. I am not that same confused and stressed out woman.
Today, through programs like the IOOV program, I know who I am, I realize I'm not perfect, but that each day is one more day I can add to my stable time.
Knowing you can do anything does not mean that you're going to go out and build bridges tomorrow. It means that you can SUCCEED at whatever is important to you, despite the fact that you have a mental illness.
Blessings,
Michele
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Toughest IOOV Audience Question
I love "giving back." Through the IOOV program, I am finally able to do that. My main goals, through telling my story, are to put a face on mental illness, and give hope for recovery from it.
Too many people are still afraid of those of us with a mental illness. One of the ways NAMI fights this is through education. I look at my IOOV presentations as a way of educating people, so that they can see that yes, I have a mental illness, but that I am in recovery, and have the disorder managed very well with treatment.
It's important to me that the audience sees me first as a real person, and then with a person with mental illness.
I always arrive early at my IOOV presentations, so I can meet and greet some of the attendees. They shake my hand, talk awhile, and then most of them are surprised to find that I'm actually the speaker! I've had many people tell me that if they hadn't heard me speak, they wouldn't have even known that I have bipolar disorder.
During the presentation, when we ask for questions, there is usually that inevitably hard question to answer: "What is the best medication for me?" (or for whatever illness they have). I always answer it this way:
"Everybody is different, and what works for one person might not work for another person. The best medication for each person is the one that works the best for them. Working with my psychiatrist, it took me awhile to find the right combination of medication to give me the greatest stability."
I find that after that, other questions are easier to answer. The hardest part is keeping "you statements" out of the answers I give. But I just remember that I'm there to tell my story and to promote NAMI and IOOV, and not to give the audience advice. If they ask for an opinion, I usually start with, "In my experience..." And I have found that those three key words keep me in "I statements" only.
I love doing IOOV presentations, and helping the general public gain knowledge of mental illness that they didn't have before, and encouragement for recovery to those consumers who might be in the audience.
I am so grateful today to be stable and to be a good example of recovery. If I can give hope to just one person, then it is worth it.
God bless,
Michele
Too many people are still afraid of those of us with a mental illness. One of the ways NAMI fights this is through education. I look at my IOOV presentations as a way of educating people, so that they can see that yes, I have a mental illness, but that I am in recovery, and have the disorder managed very well with treatment.
It's important to me that the audience sees me first as a real person, and then with a person with mental illness.
I always arrive early at my IOOV presentations, so I can meet and greet some of the attendees. They shake my hand, talk awhile, and then most of them are surprised to find that I'm actually the speaker! I've had many people tell me that if they hadn't heard me speak, they wouldn't have even known that I have bipolar disorder.
During the presentation, when we ask for questions, there is usually that inevitably hard question to answer: "What is the best medication for me?" (or for whatever illness they have). I always answer it this way:
"Everybody is different, and what works for one person might not work for another person. The best medication for each person is the one that works the best for them. Working with my psychiatrist, it took me awhile to find the right combination of medication to give me the greatest stability."
I find that after that, other questions are easier to answer. The hardest part is keeping "you statements" out of the answers I give. But I just remember that I'm there to tell my story and to promote NAMI and IOOV, and not to give the audience advice. If they ask for an opinion, I usually start with, "In my experience..." And I have found that those three key words keep me in "I statements" only.
I love doing IOOV presentations, and helping the general public gain knowledge of mental illness that they didn't have before, and encouragement for recovery to those consumers who might be in the audience.
I am so grateful today to be stable and to be a good example of recovery. If I can give hope to just one person, then it is worth it.
God bless,
Michele
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