Can You Still Be Happy if You Have a Mental Illness?

I am happy. I have a good life. Now, I've had to work real hard at it, doing all the things I have to do to remain stable with my disorder, but I am happy.

I think you have to have a balance. You can't go too far one way or the other, like the extremes of depression and mania in bipolar disorder. But it doesn't matter what your diagnosis is - I think it's up to you whether you are happy or not. Being happy for me, for instance, does not mean that I don't have any problems, because I do. But being stable with my disorder helps me to solve those problems in a rational, sane way.

I am stable. I take pride in that, because it was hard-fought and won. And it took some time, and alot of positive energy and optimistic thinking. And I didn't do it by myself, either (I think I was incapable of that) - I had a lot of help. But first I had to believe that I COULD be stable with my disorder which, at one point, seemed like it could NEVER happen to someone like me, I was that bad.

I am blessed, because today I enjoy the fruits of stability - a wonderful and supportive husband, a great marriage, 3 great sons, a home, a car, a job that I love, etc. But I use the word "blessed" instead of "lucky" because I don't think luck had anything to do with it.

At one point, I questioned my own faith, as I thought God deserted me when I prayed about being healed from bipolar disorder (and my other disorders) and wasn't.

But at some point I realized that it is because God idd not choose to heal me that I've done the most good. This blog (and my two others) for example. And the work I do for www.bipolarcentral.com and NAMI's IOOV program.

Today I am stable, balanced, and very, very grateful to God for keeping me this way. Because of this, I can help SO many other people! I LOVE doing IOOV presentations, for instance, because you can watch the faces of the people and actually see them change from Dark Days to Successes, Hopes, and Dreams! And when I see in the feedback forms that people now believe that recovery is possible, I am even more grateful to be a IOOV presenter. I believe we really help people.

So, whenever you feel discouraged, or don't think your story (or you) is important, remember the good you are actually doing. Take yourself out of the imaginary picture for a minute and think about where IOOV would be without you -- all the people who wouldn't be helped just because you shared your story. YOU ARE IMPORTANT! Never forget that.

Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Being a Diamond in the Rough

My wonderful husband had a saying about me before we got married - that I was a diamond in the rough. That's how he was able to love me even during my most destructible stages with bipolar disorder.

I think being a diamond in the rough is a good analogy for people with mental illness, because we want others to look past our outward selves, into who we really are. That's what we do with the IOOV program - we put a face on mental illness. We give hope to people who prior to that meeting didn't have hope. We tell them that they are not alone, like we thought we once were, before we became stable (recovered).

When we do an IOOV presentation, the goal is bigger than ourselves. We want people who didn't believe that recovery was possible for them to look at us and say YES! Recovery IS possible.

I love every IOOV presentation I do, because there is the very real chance to change a life! Have you ever thought of that? All we do is tell our stories. But your story has the potential to change someone else's life, who might look at you and be encouraged that if you could go through the same things they are going through and come out on the other side, then they can, too.

Our stories are powerful. They give hope. They tell people that they CAN recover! By being willing to open up ourselves from the inside out, we prove that people can overcome overwhelming odds and situations and come out free and stable.

Never underestimate your IOOV presentation - it could very well change a life!

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Recovery is like a Diamond

I just got back from doing an IOOV presentation for consumers in a day treatment center. I love doing these presentations, because I get as much hope as I give.

If there's one thing I'm about, it's recovery. I cherish it like I would cherish a diamond.

When I do an IOOV presentation, going from "Dark Days" all the way to "Successes, Hopes, and Dreams," I relive the story of my recovery, and that's what I relate to people. It's a story with a happy ending, although at one point it was as far from that as earth is from mars. I was a "throwaway." They wanted to lock me up forever. I could just never get better, going from bipolar episode to bipolar episode, including several (5) suicide attempts and many years of substance abuse.

But I was lucky. My life is a miracle from God, because it's a miracle I survived it!

I like telling my story, because it gives people hope for recovery. It's like giving them that diamond. And if I can help even one person, then it's worth it.

Yes, I do still get nervous before each presentation, but that's to humble me. That way I know I'm not out there for me. I'm out there for that one person who needs to hear what I have to say.

My life was not a pleasant one to experience. But it brought me to where I am today, sharing my success story.

I'm grateful that NAMI IOOV gives me the opportunity to do that.

Bless you all,
Michele

NEED PEOPLE TO INTERVIEW

Hey, y'all --

My boss is expanding his website to include schizophrenia, and he is looking for FOUR people to interview - either a consumer or a family member.

If you are a consumer with schizophrenia, you must be successful in your recovery, and be willing to talk about how you got that way.

Only your first name will be used if you want to remain anonymous.

The interview is over the phone, takes about an hour, you are led through the whole thing, and it pays a stipend of $10.

If you can/want to be interviewed, please contact me at bpsurvivor@gmail.com

Thanks for your help,
Michele

DEFINING YOURSELF BY MORE THAN YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS

About twenty years ago, in 1989, I was diagnosed with OCD, which was accompanied by severe panic attacks. According to my child psychologist, my future looked pretty bleak. A mental hospital was her first suggestion, citing my inability to ever function normally in society. My parents refused to accept this alternative and decided to take on the responsibility of handling a child on new anti-depressants (known as tricyclics) on their own. Needless to say, Dr. Jane Doe’s initial prognosis was, for the most part, inaccurate.

While it is true that I struggled through each day for several years, I was vigilant in my quest to conquer the impossible- even after later being diagnosed with a third, (bi-polar) fourth, (possible bpd) and fifth (dysthymic) disorder.

Now, at 29 years of age, I am a freelance writer, sports columnist, mental health advocate, and I’m working on completing a memoir. Instead of taking the “victim” stance, I’ve used my lifetime full of painful memories as fuel to feed the burning flames.

I’ll be the first to admit, mental illness is a tricky disease, as it often affects the rationality of the mind, but at some point we have to take some of the responsibility for our actions. Sometimes, those of us with mental illnesses find ourselves falling into the trap of the “stigma.” We do this by defining ourselves by our mental illness in a negative way, when we should be looking at how we can use it to our advantage. Enlightenment, I’ve found, is something that is almost innate in those of us with a mental illness because of the speed at which our mind if forced to travel. Enlightenment is certainly something that can be used as an advantage in a world filled with so much apathy.

Perhaps nineteenth century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said it best when he uttered the phrase, “that which does not kill us makes us stronger.” If you decide to live by these words, there isn’t anything you can’t do, albeit with help from the right people.

Choose to live-one day at a time.

The Musings of a Bipolar Mind

Hey, y'all --

It's just a regular day today. Isn't that great? Just a regular day.

I remember when I was afraid to wake up in the morning, not knowing what mood I would be in. Always worried about what was around the corner. Scared of the Bipolar Monster.

Today things are more peaceful. I've made peace with my mental illness.

Not saying I LIKE it, just that I've made peace with it. I've learned to live with it and it has learned to live with me.

So just regular days are great. It means that I am serene, stable, and sane.

That doesn't mean that there aren't troubles in my life, just that I am able to deal better with them now when they do crop up.

Like right now I'm having to go thru a foreclosure and bankruptcy, and it's really hard. But I just keep thinking, "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."

I know I can't handle this bankruptcy on my own strength, because it is a big thing. But just living with a mental illness is a big thing, and He keeps me stable with that, so I think He can handle one little bankruptcy. :)

These days I'm very spiritually-minded. It keeps me grounded. Keeps me stable. Keeps me serene and happy.

Well, that's it for my rambling thoughts today.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Advantages of Having a Mental Illness

I know, it is a strange title for a blog post, isn't it? Your first reaction may have been, "What advantages? There are no advantages of having a mental illness." But hear me out.

Granted, I'm not talking about someone who is unstable - obviously, it would be difficult to find advantages in that case. But I'm talking about those of us who are stable with our illnesses. And yes, there are advantages - at least for me.

I used to be a selfish person. I used to think the world revolved around me. Now, I care more about other people. Since my diagnosis, I have devoted my life to helping other people with bipolar disorder, right now by writing for www.bipolarcentral.com, writing my own blog as well as adding to this one, and doing IOOV presentations.

I am more compassionate now than I was. Especially toward other people who have a mental illness. My favorite IOOV presentations are to consumers, hoping that I can give them hope for recovery, and encourage them with my story that if I can do it, they can, too.

I am more spiritual, and I consider that an advantage. Today I leave things in God's hands, and not try to play Superwoman any more. There is so much more peace and serenity in my life now. I've also learned to take it One Day at a Time, so I don't get overwhelmed.

I am more in control. Being stable, I am in control over my bipolar disorder instead of it being in control of me.

Another advantage to having a mental illness is the self-awareness that comes as a result of it. We have to be medication compliant, and most of us are in therapy. But these are the things that keep our illnesses under control. I am constantly aware of my surroundings, activities, etc., so that I can avoid the triggers I have learned to avoid.

We are accountable to those people in our support systems, and I think that's an advantage, because sometimes they can see symptoms in us before we see them in ourselves.

I am much more stress-free having a mental illness, because I have to stay stable. Which means I avoid people, places, and situations that might cause me stress. And having less stress in my life is definitely an advantage.

Because of my bipolar disorder, I can't work at a regular job anymore, but that, too, is an advantage, because now I get to work from home, which is much less stressful, writing for www.bipolarcentral.com.

And being a part of IOOV is an advantage, too. I get to meet people I never would have met otherwise, and to help people with my story.

See? I told you there were advantages to having a mental illness! :) It's all in how you look at it.

Blessings,
Michele

You Can Do Anything In Spite of Your Disorder

One of the best IOOV presentations I ever gave was at a drop-in center for consumers of mental illness. I gave my usual talk, so I don't know which part of it that impressed this person so much, but one of the clients came up to me afterwards and gave me a card.

This card flashes in pictures between a cocoon if you move it a certain way, and a beautiful butterfly if you move it a different way. It says on it: "You Can Do Anything."

They never said a word, just handed me that card and smiled at me. I was so touched.

I keep it right in front of me at my computer, so I see it often. In one card is expressed my entire journey with mental illness.

I, too, started off in that cocoon, and now I am that butterfly.

It is stability with my bipolar disorder (and other disorders) that I do believe that today I can do anything.

Don't get me wrong, I don't try to play Superman or anything. I've learned what my limitations are, and I don't go beyond them. I stick to my routines. I do all the things I need to do to maintain control over my disorder so that it doesn't get control over me.

It's all been a learning process tho. I mean, you don't become "super-survivor" overnight! In fact, you never get to be "super survivor" at all -- if you felt that way, you'd probably be in the hospital from trying to do everything at once.

You just do the best that you can. Be the best YOU that you can be.

But this message reminds me that I'm not who I was at the beginning of my diagnosis. I am not that same confused and stressed out woman.

Today, through programs like the IOOV program, I know who I am, I realize I'm not perfect, but that each day is one more day I can add to my stable time.

Knowing you can do anything does not mean that you're going to go out and build bridges tomorrow. It means that you can SUCCEED at whatever is important to you, despite the fact that you have a mental illness.

Blessings,
Michele

Toughest IOOV Audience Question

I love "giving back." Through the IOOV program, I am finally able to do that. My main goals, through telling my story, are to put a face on mental illness, and give hope for recovery from it.

Too many people are still afraid of those of us with a mental illness. One of the ways NAMI fights this is through education. I look at my IOOV presentations as a way of educating people, so that they can see that yes, I have a mental illness, but that I am in recovery, and have the disorder managed very well with treatment.

It's important to me that the audience sees me first as a real person, and then with a person with mental illness.

I always arrive early at my IOOV presentations, so I can meet and greet some of the attendees. They shake my hand, talk awhile, and then most of them are surprised to find that I'm actually the speaker! I've had many people tell me that if they hadn't heard me speak, they wouldn't have even known that I have bipolar disorder.

During the presentation, when we ask for questions, there is usually that inevitably hard question to answer: "What is the best medication for me?" (or for whatever illness they have). I always answer it this way:

"Everybody is different, and what works for one person might not work for another person. The best medication for each person is the one that works the best for them. Working with my psychiatrist, it took me awhile to find the right combination of medication to give me the greatest stability."

I find that after that, other questions are easier to answer. The hardest part is keeping "you statements" out of the answers I give. But I just remember that I'm there to tell my story and to promote NAMI and IOOV, and not to give the audience advice. If they ask for an opinion, I usually start with, "In my experience..." And I have found that those three key words keep me in "I statements" only.

I love doing IOOV presentations, and helping the general public gain knowledge of mental illness that they didn't have before, and encouragement for recovery to those consumers who might be in the audience.

I am so grateful today to be stable and to be a good example of recovery. If I can give hope to just one person, then it is worth it.

God bless,
Michele

mind is mushy

Do you ever have one of those days where your mind is mush? Okay. How MANY days do you have when your mind is mushy? Mine is today. Not much sleep. Too much stress. Here I am trying to pull together something profound to say.

That's when I started thinking about our conference call last week. The best part of it was remembering the faces of the people who were on the call. I'm not lying when I say that I remember everyone I have ever trained in this state and we have trained 112! I hear your voices over the phone and I remember your faces and your smiles and parts of your story. That is almost as good as seeing you. Even as mushy as my mind is today, I remember your face, your voice and your smile. Why? Because you matter. You had an impact on my life. Our lives intersected for a brief period of time and you now have a place reserved just for you in my mind. This makes me very happy.

Why does it make me happy? Because the spot that you occupy in my brain could have gotten filled up with so many other things that are less important or less interesting or less life-changing. I only have so much real estate up there! (Michael says that all the time!) So, my goal is to meet enough life-changing people who take up grooves in my brain that there is no more room for stuff I don't need!

Thank you! For who you are and for what you have done for me.

Lisa

Our Next Conference Call

I hope everyone had a happy and safe 4th of July! It's Monday, time for another blog post!

I wanted to let everyone know that our next IOOV presenters conference call will be taking place next Monday, July 13 starting at 7:30 Eastern/6:30 Central. You all will be receiving an e-mail with instructions on how to get on the call.

Thanks for all that you do for NAMI!

-Logan

New ning site to join!

Dear all,

Happy Monday! Oh, okay. It's just Monday. But I have a great ning site that everyone should sign up with.

http://hopeworkscommunity.ning.com

Larry Drain who lives in Knoxville contacted me through Facebook. Don't know how he found me, but I'm glad he did. He has this wonderful site that has a lot about bipolar disorder and more specifically, hope.

Another site that I strongly urge you to check out (because it is my husband, Michael's site) is www.everyminute.org. It is named that because every minute in this country a suicide is attempted. Go onto the website and check out the Declaration page. This isn't a petition but more a declaration that more and better mental health research is important to you. You can actually sign the page using your mouse. Also check out the videos. They are powerful and great.

These are just additional helps to us. If you haven't signed up for Twitter, do so and follow me! My i.d. is littlebit923. (Don't ask.)

Each one of you is special and gifted. Since I trained each of you, I want you to know that you are dear to my heart, integral to my recovery and in my thoughts and prayers.

Love to all!

Lisa

Urgent message!!!

Hey everyone! We just got this information from our lobbyist. This requires immediate action!! See below:

The House has included in their budget $5,000,000 for restoration of mental health/substance abuse community contracts. The Senate does not have this item in their budget. Please email your legislators TODAY to ask them to SUPPORT AND CONCUR WITH THE MENTAL HEALTH IMPROVEMENTS RECOMMENDED IN THE HOUSE VERSION OF THE BUDGET. We will need to send this email today to both your Senators and Representatives. We are in the final few days of the legislative session. It is very important that we contact our legislators NOW and ask for support of the mental health improvements in the House version of the budget.

If anyone needs to know who your legislator is, contact me (800) 367-4589 or go onto the website http://www.legislature.state.tn.us/.


Thanks in advance for your help in this. This affects all of us, folks!

Lisa

Hello! Is anybody out there?

Hey all! It's Monday and I'm a-bloggin'! I want to share with you my experience presenting lasat Thursday night. I was the keynote speaker at an open house at Skyline Medical Center in Madison, TN (not far from Nashville). Skyline has developed a new "treatment mall" concept for treating their psych patients. It is a great concept. The patients don't spend much time on the floor. They get out and have a selections of the different kinds of groups that they want to attend. Kind of like a college setting. Anyway, they had called Fox 17 TV to the event. They wanted to interview me. So I sat down and did a television interview that played on the 10:00 news. When it was time to speak, I was prepared with notes and had timed it out in my mind so that I wouldn't speak too long. I was sitting up on the stage with a couple of big wigs in Skyline who spoke before me. As I was sitting there, I noticed a man walked into the room. It was my first psychiatrist. He was the one who sent me to Skyline when I was very sick. I saw him for 8 years.

At first, I was very nervous. My heart started to race and I wasn't sure if I could speak. But since I got into recovery, I had always wanted him to see me well. This was my chance. So I swallowed my fear and gave the best speech I could. People were crying and smiling. Y'all know, that means it touched people and was effective. My dr. didn't say anything about knowing me, but I recognized him in the speech. You see, my stay at Skyline was my last hospitalization. It was in large part because of the care that they gave me.

I left the stage and went to Dr. Mathews. He had a big smile on his face and said "I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud you are giving back." We hugged big and I felt like I had truly closed a chapter in my life. I finally was able to let him see what his hard work with me had produced.

Yeah, I got on TV. Yeah, everyone came up to me afterward and hugged me and all of that stuff. But the best part of the night was getting that smile from my dr.

Lisa

Welcome!

Hey everybody and welcome to the most innovative addition to In Our Own Voice in history!!!! Well, maybe not that. But it's darned innovative for us. Big thanks to Logan Black and Teresa Godsey for helping make the conference calls and social networking a reality.

We will be posting blog issues twice a week, usually on Monday and Friday. The issues posted could be questions, topics for you to weigh in on or just general stuff to talk about. I want to encourage each of you to invite other presenters whose email addresses you know to be friends with NAMI TN IOOV. This is a terrific way to keep in touch and to share ideas.

So today's query: What is one message from your own experiences that you feel can lift someone up and give them hope?

Please respond and let's talk!

Lisa

Conference Call

Our conference call last Thursday night hosted by Lisa Corbin with help from Sita went very well. Thanks to all those who called in!

Test

This is a test of NAMI TN's new In Our Own Voices blog!